Since taking the gig with BetterWorks I’ve been immersed in the world of “HR.” The deeper I go the more corollaries I see to the PR world. Never mind that “HR” and “PR” is just one letter off…

1) Don’t put baby in a corner: Just like PR, the HR world is fighting to not be put into the “I’m just for recruiting” box, read: “I’m not just media.” The HR world has expanded and is now in charge of many things beyond what they were originally known for, just like us. We’re all shoving our way to the table and, rightfully so, we belong there.

2) Spotlight the pink elephant: The progressive types within HR are embracing technology to promote their programs – holistically! These people are pointing to the elephant in the room much as the progressives in PR do. They have unconferences to talk about it and change it. As we’re familiar with, find what’s broken, spotlight it, and work to fix it!

3) We care: This may sound hokey but HR people like PR people care for the people around them and we are all seeking to effect change in a positive and transparent way!

One of the glaring gaps I’ve noticed is that HR is fighting for prominence in the workplace but aren’t the best at communicating in the way they need. It does not occur to them to tap PR (but they tap marketing for pretty collateral!). Rarely do they think to tap the communication experts in their org’s to make that happen.

Lesson of the day: Work with your HR people to internally promote programs. We are the authorities in a company when it comes to how and when to communicate. Though our general focus is external, we are well versed in understanding the power of testimonials. We are nothing without the people around us. How often do we point to employees to help tell our story? They are our finest brand ambassadors.

Take a minute and check in with your HR teams and see how you can help take care of your company and use your “PR” skills to communicate the things your company is doing to make work “More Rewarding,” as we say at BetterWorks.

I say this because I sat in sessions on Sunday with HR folks who are trying to launch programs within their company. They talked about marketing helping them and, of course, I asked, do you ask your PR team to help? The answer is obvious otherwise I would not be writing this.

It got me to thinking and I realized that in my 14 years in the business, not once has a HR person asked me, “Hey, I want to launch this thing internally. Can you give me some tips?” Which is obvious and totally ludicrous at the same time.

HR and PR should be friends. We are commonly aligned. Get on it.

Remember, PR isn’t just external, it’s internal as well. Don’t forget. You have an obligation to share messages inward just as much as you push them outward.

I’ve watched several friends go through this transition. I’ve heard about their new business pursuits, dealings with smaller naive clients, frustrations with being a one-man band, and much more. As they’ve found their footing and developed their practices some interesting trends have started to emerge.

1. High demand for independents: The past several weeks I’ve connected with at least 20 contractors and most had some type of boutique-agency pitch. Typically they started as the principle, handling everything themselves. Start-ups are increasingly turning to these types of shops. They’re run by seasoned professionals who are getting clients off their reputations because they have a proven track record, solid contacts, writing skills and provide the strategic value that’s needed.

2. Scale Issues: One-person shops can only do so much and those that have been in business a few years are inundated with new business leads. They want to take the business but simply can’t due to lack of resources. Many are struggling with how to grow their business without turning into a “PR agency,” which a few people I know swore they would never be. Because of the new business, though, they’re being forced to decide to scale back or commit to expanding to be able to handle the business.

3. Merging Boutiques: In the past week I talked to three independents who had partnered up with other independents to balance the load. All are professionals who had gone through the exercises of the two points above. These partnerships are creating a wave of “boutique agencies,” typically with a specific market focus. For example, instead of handling “technology” clients, they might focus on internet advertising, or gaming, digital media, etc. These boutiques are going head-to-head with larger agencies to win business.

4. Shunning of “PR”: Every person I talked to expressed frustration with using the term PR to describe their services. All felt it was too limiting. One boutique agency, consisting of two very smart women focused on entertainment and social good, regrets classifying themselves as PR. When hearing more about what they provide they are definitely more of a marketing and communications agency. They feel like they’re being pigeon-holed and are debating what term to use. Communications or marketing seem to be the direction most are leaning, with PR as a subset of service offerings. The days are rapidly disappearing where pro’s hang their shingle using PR.

5. Hub and spoke model: There is heavy emphasis on the network with this segment of boutiques. They are beefing up their networks and building alliances with other independents who can support one-off client program needs creating a massive hub and spoke model. This can be for writing (case studies, white papers, etc.), video content creation, web design, event production, speaking placement, etc. This development is a natural extension as PR people expand their services to offer broader communications strategy, and it allows them to more readily compete against larger agencies.

6. Media Relations Specialists: Due to this breed of agencies selling broader communications strategies it means there is less time to do the traditional stuff, like media relations. Frankly, most the people I know are tired of the dog-and-pony show that comes with the media aspect. Many of us have been doing this for 10-20 years and would rather focus on the communications strategy activities and leave the bulk of media relations to someone else to do. This has created a huge need for independents who focus just on media relations. It’s a perfect compliment to the hub and spoke model but can be hard to find. The independents I know like to help each other out but can be reluctant to refer these types of freelancers for fear of losing them to other boutiques who fill up their time. We need more good independents focused on media.

7. Massive need for writers: The need for content as part of a communications program has never been stronger. Every single boutique I talked with was looking for writers to support thought leadership and marketing communications needs. There is a very lucrative opportunity for out-of-work journalists and strong PR writers. The most common requests I’m hearing about are people who can ghost-write bylined articles, industry reports and keep the blog content pipeline full. There’s a rise in companies that have a network of writers who provide writing support. One I heard about recently is Contently which says it’s focused on “content strategy,” which I find an interesting term and sub-set within communications strategy.

8. Need for junior independents: Anyone who’s logged some time on the PR battleground is familiar with the necessary evils of program maintenance. In a traditional agency, these activities are typically executed by the junior staff. These lovely people keep lists updated, put together coverage reports, write reporter backgrounders, conduct research, and a myriad of other things. With this new boutique model, the majority do not have anyone in this role because they don’t need a full-time junior person. However, they still need this kind of stuff to get done. When you’re a principle focused on strategy and high-level impact things, your time is not well spent in an excel grid. We need more junior independents or people who don’t mind doing this kind of work to support the boutiques out there. I think someone in this role could make a killing because it’s so specialized and no one is offering it.

What trends have you noticed?

People also need to practice playing by themselves. I read recently how kids are losing their imaginations because the toys are too detailed. There isn’t room to create their “own” idea of what that car or fort or whatever looks like or what it will do. We become too literal. We need to be able to fill in the blanks with our own creations. Build our confidence so we’re not afraid to play out loud with others. To not practice self-censorship.

How do different cultures play? I know much is universal, but that would be interesting… Joyce Meyer’s was saying once how her son always was creative at playing. She said if she put him in the corner as a punishment it would be only minutes before he would create a game out of something on the wallpaper.

This reminded me of a story told at the beginning of Play and it’s one I’ve repeated numerous times to illustrate that hands-on play as a youngster, not digital, is crucial to problem-solving skills later in life.

As Brown tells it, Cal Tech’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) encountered an interesting phenomenon when looking to make new hires to replace the retiring legacy aerospace engineers who built our spaceships, robotics and everything in between. JPL set about hiring top talent from leading engineering schools but they “were often missing something. They were not very good at certain types of problem solving that are critical to the job.” The area in question? Taking complex projects from theory to practice.

JPL set to find out why they were hiring the wrong engineers even though they looked good on paper. The answer was found with Nate Jones who ran a machine shop specializing in performance racing. After noticing that many of the younger kids coming in to work at the shop were not able to problem solve, Jones and his wife began investigating the differences between the old and new employees. What they discovered is that “those who had worked and played with their hands as they were growing up were able to ‘see solutions’ and those who hadn’t worked with their hands could not.”

JPL went back to their retiring workforce and discovered similar findings. “…in their youth, their older, problem-solving employees had taken apart clocks to see how they worked, or make soapbox derby racers, or built hi-fi stereos, or fixed appliances. The young engineering school graduates who had also done these things, who had played with their hands, were adept at the kinds of problem solving the management sought. Those who hadn’t, generally were not. From that point on, JPL made questions about applicants’ youthful projects and play a standard part of job interviews.”

This story has stuck with me for multiple reasons:

1) As we devolve into a digital society with our children’s noses in iPads, how will that impact the quantity and quality of future engineers? Creating soapbox derby cars was a hobby much more prominent in the time of the older JPL engineers but how much so today? Where is the emphasis on creating with tangible products, creating something physical from the ground up?

2) How we played as children says a lot about us as adults. If your nature is to be curious how things worked and took items apart to find out, odds are high you’ll be technically astute. If you were the organizer of neighborhood games and activities, you’ll likely find those skills following you in your profession. I was one of those kids. (Brown has a chapter called “Play Personalities which is equally interesting.)

3) It reminded me that no matter how old I get it’s important to get my hands dirty when it comes to playing. Sometimes you have to put down the iPhone and pick up some paints and paper or dig into a craft project.

Engaging in play, be it a visit to the museum, building sand castles at the beach, or a day of street photography, should be an activity that lets you think without boundaries, to “fill in the blanks with our own creations” as my mother put it.

How did you play as a child? Did you have the freedom of play that required use of your imagination?

How do you play as an adult? Do you find yourself restricting creative thoughts or not able to reach them as well as you once could?

What kind of example are you setting for the children in your life? Now that you’ve had a brief glimpse into the JPL example and the impact hands on activities can have in the long run, maybe that next video game purchase could be put towards a project that results in a creation not just a high score.

1) I like it.

I’m a fan of having “toys” around that help spark ideas within my popcorn machine. Playdoh is fun and non-messy and forms with your imagination. The things you can create are endless and it’s a good group activity, one-to-one or alone.

2) I wanted my team to PLAY.

Playing is something we associate with childhood but in reality we should never stop. Our forms of play may evolve but we always need it to be healthier and happier humans.

Working at a PR agency with consumer tech clients we had need for constant output. We’d grab some playdoh and start brainstorming. People’s minds were freed up during the conversation as they worked with their hands fashioning Playdoh creations, which usually turned into gifts for other people. It’s akin to a form of art therapy and it was very effective, fun and bonding.

3) I wanted to promote a message of creativity in business.

I’ve spent the better part of my career (going on 13 years) telling those around me that play isn’t only crucial in personal development but also business.  It’s not money that keeps a business running, it’s creativity. If you run out of that you’re really in trouble. When an organization is inspired to think creatively that’s when the greatest problem solving occurs.

We are all creative people but many of us lose touch with that part of ourselves as we grow older, thinking we don’t have time to “play,” but playing helps keep our brains fired.

A year ago I fell madly in love with a book by Stuart Brown called “Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul.”  In a chapter called “the opposite of play is not work” Brown says:

There’s nothing like true play to promote social cohesion at work. When people play, they become attuned to each other. The more powerful players handicap themselves to keep the game going instead of dominating and controlling it. Groups pull together in pursuit of a common goal, which is why the “team” approach is often utilized in business. Team-building exercises often involve play: solving puzzles, building bridges with cardboard, or going through an obstacle course. We talk about “working” together as a team, but it might be more beneficial and productive to talk about people “playing” together as a team. When people graduate from “working” as a team to “playing” as a team, they will really allow themselves to compete fully and with gusto against other teams inside and outside the company.

Fostering a creative environment in the workplace needs support from the top.  The CEO may not be able to roll up their sleeves and join a company art-project but they can support and encourage the idea, recognizing the multiple benefits that time-out has to the company at large. Brown tells one story of a CEO who used toys to lighten up a less-than-positive company meeting:

“…When all employees are focused on the possibility of personal or collective failure, a funeral air saps the energy and optimism necessary for success.  At this point, play gives people the emotional distance to rally. When one CEO whom I know gathered employees in the company auditorium to talk about a recent bad quarter, he himself took the blame for the company’s performance. He then told the employees that under every seat was a toy dart gun with foam darts, and invited them all to take a shot at him. The air filled with flying yellow projectiles, and the atmosphere of the meeting was completely transformed. The CEO went on to explain how they were going to turn things around, why everything was going to be okay. But the important point of the talk was non-verbal. The foam darts told everyone that the situation was not so dire. More important, the CEO’s playful invitations to take shots at him said that it was OK to have some setbacks and that it was okay to admit failures, take the hit, and figure out ways to fix them. The foam fusillade was a playful prompt to remind the employees of the joie de combat necessary for success…Sometimes when a situation is really heading south, a moment of imaginative play is the only thing that provides enough distance to see the way out of a predicament..“

The prior sentence is demonstrated perfectly with the recent Red Cross tweets that turned from an embarrassing #slizzard situation to #donations, all because it was handled with humor and play.

Think about the companies out there who get gold stars for their culture, like Zappos, aren’t they ones highly steeped in a blend of “play” and work? Old Spice sure chalked up some brownie points for its form of play with its audience.

What kind of message does your company send, internally and externally, about the importance of play and creative thought? What kind of tone do the leaders in your company set?

If you’re looking for a charge in your internal environment and group think, give play a try.

(Please excuse the 1.0 appearance. I’m working on a kickingsand upgrade.)

She said, “Can we just talk for a minute about the brilliance of Old Spice?”“It is head shake-ingly brilliant,” I said, as I shook my head between both hands. It truly is.
I told her that among the many marketing insights that will influence countless case studies to come, two specific thoughts have been resonating in my brain.

The first, which I’ve been seeking an answer is: WHEN did Old Spice decide to make this an effort in the overall brand experience- from the beginning? Or was it once they saw the interweb reaction to the ads and related coverage?

Second, the tone in which they replied.

Let’s start with the first: The When.

No one I asked had an answer but most suspected this wasn’t planned from the beginning (how can you?). It was likely an idea that evolved out of the opportunity the interweb chatter provided. This, combined with consulting for a company, reminded me how fluid the process of PR and communications is.

You can plan for A, which never happens, but you have to be ready with plans B, C, D, E and F in response to how your plans pan out. It requires the ability to be flexible and have ideas and resources to adjust and capitalize while still keeping on the path. This is one of the under appreciated aspects of most PR and communications professionals.

The Old Spice folks saw an opportunity and seized it. PR, communications and marketing-at-large is largely psychology-based and these folks nailed it. They seeked out mouthpieces, built content targeted at them and then distributed socially in a tone that was appreciated and brag-worthy. Brilliance, at it’s finest. W+K was fluid. They moved with the impending tide, and they were allowed to do so by the client, God bless ‘em.

Things change all the time in the creative industry and executives need to be prepared to ride it just as the executors should. There are no absolutes. It’s a bit like developing a painting. You might have an image but once you start to build it things you thought were right weren’t when you put them down and so you adjust and you weave and you glide. The smart ones see opportunities coming and know how to ride it. So really it’s like surfing.

But, to know how to ride it you also need the second point, which is, in part, related to the tone that Old Spice replied with.

I often say brands take themselves too seriously. It’s important to humanize and connect customers and partners with the people in the company. At the end of the day, that is what we are, people working for companies and trying to make our way. By Isaiah/OldSpice responding directly to specific people demonstrated a lot in our transparent, socially-web fed society:

1) We know what’s up. We know there were writers and he’s an actor and it was being pulled together quickly and we marveled at the dedication to the initiative which was fearless as far as big brands go.
2) We saw a brand engaged and connecting in a way we’d appreciate – a personal one.
3) We watched a massive creative effort come to life over-night. Who wouldn’t respect that?
4) We saw the actor as a human busting his ass to represent a brand busting its ass to live up to its brand message goals (brand for men…who is axe again?) while keeping in character and having FUN with it.

Point 3 and 4 are the crux. They were creative and they had fun and that’s what struck me the most. They weren’t just engaging, they were playing.

The art of creativity is largely lost with PR and a lot of communication fields but it’s rampant in advertising and marketing. They play, they have fun. They dream and imagine and create new worlds. Why shouldn’t we? Why can’t we play together?

This doesn’t mean all brands should start making cheeky videos in response to customers or tweets but it does mean you should seriously examine the interest that your public shows in hearing from you, directly.

Be it on a blog, or in video or tweet or personal email or shout-out in the newsletter. Your audience wants to be heard and they want to be communicated to in a fun and personal way. Old Spice nailed it, among so many other things.

Be fluid. Be creative. Be human.

This copy relayed quite strongly that this company was not looking for a “traditional PR” exec or someone who thought like one. Media relations would be important but this was about something much bigger – customers, thought leadership, partner relations, to name a few.
In short, they want a communications strategist or specialist, which is a term I’ve been playing with lately in my search to find an accurate term for what I do.

I see this as a role that is wholly focused on the act of using communications within/for a company to build brand and grow business. This function crosses every traditionally held departmental boundary such as sales, marketing, business development, financial, product and technology and, yes, the executive suite.

When I started in PR it was using 3rd party mediums to reach a target audience. What started as writing pitches, press releases, backgrounders, audience messaging, award and speaking abstracts evolved over the years into contributed articles, product and corporate messaging, speeches, sales collateral, executive presentations, business development decks, customer service emails, and website copy. It also became about taking a step back and looking at the overall communications flow, internally and externally, the way an operations exec would. It also led to partner relations and corporate marketing opportunities. Most of the listed activities are not what PR is hired to do even though PR is, at its core, about communications. But they’re not equal. It’s subtle but the difference is actually quite big.

At the Rubicon Project, my first full-time in house position, department execs were curious why I wanted to know so much about what was happening in their respective environments. I asked questions PR people didn’t normally ask and wanted to know things they shouldn’t care about. Once they recognized that the more information and insight I had into what was going on the stronger I could make the communication flow throughout the entire company, strengthening the business and supporting their efforts in the short and long term.

PR people, by sheer nature of the industry, are not trained to use their craft to affect change in all these elements but this is what the role of a communications strategist is becoming. This is what companies want and are starting to ask for, as evidenced by the job description. And this is what a lot of PR people want to become associated with doing and are starting to shun the title altogether. Other PR pro’s are perfectly happy with the traditional description and role.

Our industry has gotten so big it’s splitting. I’ve been arguing that PR needed new PR but our true role in business has completely outgrown the term. I see Communications as the umbrella term, similar to Marketing (which is also changing,) and oversees corporate communications (including customers in some aspects,) social media/community relations, investor relations, thought leadership, industry/influencer relations and PR which is focused on media strategy, events, speaking, etc.

What does this mean for PRSA who has hung its hook on public relations? Or all those agencies who aren’t viewed by the media or businesses as communications strategists but as publicity agents? Both entities fighting for respect and recognition for being more than spinners to media and execs. It’s going to be a bumpy next few years and it will be interesting to watch it shake out.

I’m taking a self-enforced sabbatical and plan to examine a number of topics on this front that have been kicking around my head for awhile. In the mean time, I’m demoting PR.
Where do you fall? Have you used the term PR less? Substituted it with something else? Perhaps expanded your title to be more representative of your skill set? If so, all of these point to why PR is in crisis and it might be one that isn’t going to be solved.

In a day and age when sharing our stories, favorite videos, political views, product reviews, intimate moments, photographs, and random rants and raves across multiple digital platforms is part of our daily routines, our content is consumed at an unprecedented rate. Being accessible in real-time all the time can bolster our business and personal brands. That is the upside. The downside is the manner in which social etiquette is being increasingly bastardized in the Web 2.0 sphere because of a misplaced sense of entitlement and set of expectations our readers, followers, and Interweb friends have from absorbing the onslaught of our digital footprints.One typical evening on Twitter a few months ago, Francisco Dao (@theman) coined the term social media entitlement syndrome. The dialogue I observed in my Twitter stream about SMES that night definitely struck a chord. As a frequent social medializer, I couldn’t help but wonder: a) have I ever had SMES? b) do I know people who do? c) can SMES be stopped?

The answers were a) yes b) yes and c) it can at least be mitigated. So after witnessing a series of events that have spawned misunderstandings, hasty judgment calls, and hurt feelings, Nicole Jordan (@nicolejordan) and I felt that the need for a Lalawag article on the issue could no longer be ignored.

The definition of SMES has a number of variations. Here are a few that we collected.
1. Feeling and behaving as if one should be granted certain privileges (event access, free products, job offers) because he/she is well-known in social media.
2. Expecting all-access to an individual’s private life because he/she occasionally posts personal items in social networks.
3. Acting like it’s acceptable and normal to piss (bombard w/comments, tweets, DMs) on someone’s social stream.
4. Demanding that people retweet your content, and resenting them if they don’t.
5. Assuming that because you correspond with someone via social media, you should be invited to every social gathering that person plans or is involved with.

It’s quite the catch-22. The main reason many people use social media is to connect with others. We connect by putting ourselves out there. The question then is where is the line in respecting privacy when so many of us are choosing to live publicly? As Francisco recently opined, “We’re dealing with a world where people think that it’s all community, as in community property.”

Being part of a community is one of the greatest perks that comes with using social media. But it’s gotten to the point that because so many people can see what we’re doing and who we’re doing it with that social boundaries no longer exist. There is no more reading between the lines because no one is drawing any lines. As a result, the same platforms that some communities have used to communicate and strengthen ties are becoming turn-offs for some people.

Much of the discrepancy may be due to the fact that people using social media have different agendas. Some use it strictly for business. Some for shits and giggles. Some for spying. And others use it simply to share and feel connected. And there are plenty of us that use SM for all of the above.

We talked to some of our online and offline friends and came up with a few common points for all of us who have been guilty of, fallen victim to, or grown weary of social media entitlement syndrome to keep in mind.

Business is Business, Not a Little Blue Bird

There is the old adage, “don’t shit where you eat,” which in a perfect world is great advice. But what if our professions require that we shit (network) everywhere? Are we to starve and live on nothing but a business cocktail here and there?

No. Becoming friends with people in our social media platforms and offline is beautifully human, not to mention fun. And though it’s often frowned upon, mixing business with friendship can be a wonderful experience. BUT being a social media acquaintance or a personal friend with someone does not mandate the pursuit of a professional relationship on either side. Our social networks, Twitter in particular, are extensions of our offline communities, where we share information, and we applaud and help one another. However, helping does not necessarily mean hiring.

The business and social lines or lack there of can be blurred in other ways, as well. Knowing who someone is through social media doesn’t mean we know them. People are only as transparent as they choose to be about certain aspects of their lives. We show people what we want them to see through social media. That’s not transparency, it’s strategic marketing.

We’ve heard countless stories about people who follow another on Twitter, are excited to meet the @, and then proceed to launch into a conversation with a tone that implies one expects the other to review something, respond to requests right away, get that person into an event, or that you’re now pals.

The term “friend” has become abused and is becoming devoid of meaning. We refer to our “social media” connections as friends so often that the word “friends” has become a throw-away term. Perhaps acquaintance sounds too cold for someone that you “share” with. But the truth is, you may follow an “influencer” and exchange some tweets, support with RT’s, drop some shout-outs so people saw you tweeting with said person, but none of that means you KNOW the person.

Relationships are more than 140 characters

Relationships, professional and personal, take time to develop. Lately, there seems to be a lack of understanding about this. Actions are executed at lightning speed in social media because they’re all done through a computer or a device. The problem is that we spend so much time plugged in that our ADHD-induced mentality is transcending into our lives offline, which reduces the value of putting time into cultivating important relationships with people. While connecting and sharing online can start a true friendship, it’s the time you spend together in person or on the phone, interacting, that really separates the wheat from the chaff, if you will.

Social media is enabling “Wedding Crashers.”

One of the beauties of the social web is that there is never a shortage of things to do. Your dance card can be full or empty, it’s up to you. People are always tweeting out and FB’ing events with open invitations, but more than once we’ve heard about gatherings that were meant to be private and ended up being was crashed by someone who saw it appear on a public timeline.

In one instance, a person ended up attending a private event at a home. When confronted after, the person said, “I didn’t think it was a big deal since so many people I knew were going.” The organizer became much more diligent about making events on Facebook private to prevent it from happening again.

Another example took place when a group of friends, mind you these were people who are actually friends, went out to dinner. Someone tweeted who was there and soon after three people that none of them knew showed up, said they saw the tweet and that they came to hang. No invitation was actually extended.

There’s much debate to the “if you want it private don’t tweet about it or keep it closed on Facebook” vein-of-thinking but what we’ve heard, and witnessed firsthand, is a pulling back and censoring of what people want to put out there. And not only that it’s starting to give rise to resentment.

Deciding what to share comes down to personal preference and knowing what your boundaries are and communicating them. If you really don’t want to have your name tweet-dropped because there’s a particular social media stalker just waiting for an opportunity to corner you in a private setting, let the people you’re with know so they can be sensitive to it.

Beware of social climbers

A term we’ve heard tossed around with much frequency is “social climber.” This can be a bit delicate as any person who appreciates social media can attest, the connections you make that you never would have otherwise is part of what makes it all so great. But, some people are starting to become more guarded with the people they meet through social media because they’re feeling used by others who appear to only want to make the connection so they can tweet-drop or FB you and up their street cred.

When we’ve heard this complaint it’s always followed with some qualifier like, “I don’t want that to come across as arrogant and that I don’t appreciate that someone is interested in being connected to me…”

This is, in part, a bit of the Twitter myth, no? The illusion that Twitter follower size or the appearances that you’re friends with a well-known @ is what creates influence. When someone starts to feel like they’re being “climbed,” one action we’ve heard is that they review that person’s tweets and evaluate the level of tweet-dropping, over-enthusiasm and level of aggressiveness to include themselves. If that person’s online actions tend to be geared toward “getting-in” and being “seen,” their target just might run even further away.

As stated earlier, both of us have been guilty of a little SMES. Everyone probably has at one time or another. To avoid falling ill with the syndrome keep these points in mind and most importantly try to remember, there is an entire world out there that has nothing to do with Twitter or Facebook.

“They just aren’t getting it,” she said. “What we’re saying is not resonating.”
She showed me product and corporate information they were using and, being familiar with the industry of said start-up, I asked, “What does any of this even mean? You are using fancy words that are not part of the industry’s vernacular. No wonder they don’t get it. It’s like you’re speaking Chinese to someone in Finland. It’s not clearly stated what the company does nor the differentiation of the product from the myriad companies who seem like they’re doing something similar.”

“I know!” she agreed in frustration. “We keep going over it with him again and again but we’re just not able to nail it.”

“Have you talked to the CTO or the engineers?” I asked. “I’ve found it to be the number one way I’m able to truly wrap my arms around how a company’s technology works and what it does.”

“We haven’t ever talked to anyone on the technical team. It’s always been working directly with the CEO. But that’s a good idea,” she said.

She approached the CEO requesting face time with the engineers so they could start to track down the lost-in-translation point. The CEO pushed back and wouldn’t grant access to the technical team at first, which raised concerns immediately as to why. Why shield information that will help a team you’re paying to be stronger and more effective?
She continued pushing until they were finally granted a meeting with the head engineer. Afterward I asked her how it went.

“Everything makes sense now; how the product works, what it does, how it fits into the market and how it’s different. It was like the sky had parted and the angels started singing. We discovered another spokesperson who is very eloquent and passionate about the business that we’ll be utilizing more for thought leadership. And, we also realized that what the CEO is selling is not what is being built.” Which is an entirely separate issue.

PR people are constantly demonized by the media for not having deep enough product knowledge about the companies they represent and for filling press releases with jargon to describe the product. And, while that is true a lot of the time, PR agencies and reps are only half to blame.

Not enough companies are putting their PR/communications people (especially out-sourced) in touch with the technology departments that will help them truly understand how it all works. There is a big difference when having something explained to you by the person who is building the product versus the one selling it (especially when on commission.)

In this case, the CEO was getting in the way. He was relying on his own definitions and descriptions to dictate the corporate and product verbiage to the detriment of his communications program and his team. He was also creating more work in the long run by being out of sync with his dev team.

When a CEO (or any sales person) is out pitching a product that doesn’t fulfill what’s promised it leads to a form of crisis communications for the PR team who has to then calm upset customers and work to retain a positive brand image. Which is even more of a reason to have your PR/communications reps involved in all aspects of business, from meeting regularly with the sales team to business and product development, account management and customer service.

So, PR pro’s – ask for access! Spend consistent face time with the tech and product teams. Ask questions like:
-We’re describing the product like this, xyz, is that accurate?

-With this new product coming out, what will people be able to do with it?

-I don’t quite get how x does y. Can you help me understand, and how that impacts what we offer….

You get the gist. Do your job. Ask questions. Gather smart information and then go be smart communicators.

And companies, you’re not off the hook here either. Give your PR pro’s access! Invite them to meet with the product team, involve them with internal documents that outline product specs, share your product roadmap!

You will get smarter press materials and counsel because your team will get it and help you communicate it outward. It will also help spot communication deficiencies early on, like a CEO who is pushing a different product than what’s being built.

Two sentences seemed to especially have struck a chord with my creative peers:
1) Creative ideas and connections are the real currency in this digital economy.
2) Strategic and creative counsel is one of the most under-monetized aspects of being in the communications and marketing business.

As Ron Antonette commented, “Agencies give this away for free in the form of new business presentations to win the business. Until the industry stops permitting this to be the “cost of entry,” strategic counsel from experienced pros (other than crisis comms) will continue to be considered worth less than the social media optimized release the account executive writes.”

JessieX said, “the concept of deliverables for payment is still part of the economy, of course. But it’s the *thinking* that is most valuable.”

I was particular taken with Richard Nienaber’s observation:
What I think you were trying to say (and what I got out of your post, whether you intended it or not) is that there is a difference between giving away advice and giving away ideas. I still think ideas cost nothing. Advice, however, is a combination of education, insight and experience and is worthy of compensation.

Some were offended thinking I was suggesting one should not give their time away – that this was counter to the ways of the social web and start-up/entrepreneur life in general, more than one citing Rajeev’s rule. Not surprising these comments largely stemmed from those very people who are typically asking for that free advice. And, hey, I don’t fault them. They are hustling to make a dollar stretch. It’s up to the other side of the table to determine what they will give away.

Annalie Killian said, “Some of these coffees lead you to new ideas. perspectives or connections just as you do for others- and that is why you do them.” And I agree wholeheartedly. I believe in giving time away but have learned, and am still learning, what my boundaries and reciprocal wants are.

I personally suffer from taking a call with someone, coming up with ideas of people they should talk to or something they should do and all of the sudden I’ve found my short, friendly PYB experience turned into action items for me afterwards. And that’s where you can get hooked and start to get drained, unless you communicate clear boundaries and know what you want in exchange, if you care for the business at all.
Since so many people shared advice and experiences I thought a general observations and advice from peers on how to deal with PYB situations.

First up, some main themes:

• The term “pick your brain” is despised and makes people’s skin crawl. Don’t use it. Ever. Ask for their advice, insight, counsel or opinion instead.

• Social media has increased the amount of PYB requests from people who are “internet friends” and not personal ones. There is a difference. There is an emerging sense of entitlement that has frustrated more than one peer who has been expected to help someone just because they have a decent size twitter following.

• We feel flattered that people want our opinion and insulted when the value of them isn’t understood and giving it away for free only re-enforces that. Liz Macniven wrote that “people always value it more if they have to pay you something, even if a really nominal amount.” And Shelly Kneupper Tucker added that she’s “found that if people don’t pay you anything, they assume you aren’t worth anything. “

• We need to value our skills more and not be afraid to ask to be paid. Contractors can be especially guilty of this. Some are fearful the prospect will balk at the asking rate but, if they do and aren’t willing to discuss, you don’t want to work with them anyway. Don’t be afraid to ask.

• ..and this can be an interesting adjustment for new contractors. When you’re being paid by a company and giving advice away it’s one thing. When it becomes your livelihood you protect it more. Jim Bennette sums it up well with his comment. “Until recently, most of my career has been as an employee of a company who provided me with income. Hence providing this advice on the side was not that big of a deal. Recently, I have started to do consulting as my main source of income and in doing so I have had to begin to monetize my “popcorn machine”. It does take a little getting used to telling people that they must pay for my value.”

• A little goes a long way. If a PR/Marketing/Creative/insert-blank-here does a favor for you, say thank you in some way. It doesn’t have to be expensive or fancy but do something to show you recognize their time is valuable and you appreciate they gave some of it to you. Marie Williams coached a friend on how to pitch a story for coverage on a major tech blog (he succeed) and then he took her to lunch and got her a gift to say thanks. She says, “he showed that he was the type of friend that is worthy of such an investment by repaying me with a few small but heartfelt gestures (it’s trite, but true: it’s the thought that counts).” It matters.

• We don’t spend enough time asking for things in return. For many I know, and myself, this doesn’t occur, but it should. More on that below.

• People are starting to more safely guard their time, allotting more of their non-work time for me-time. This is impacting the criteria of what makes a meeting worth it enough. Maria Ogneva said, “Life is short, and I hold myself accountable for each day. I’d rather spend the time volunteering than frittering my life away on people who only appreciate you when you have something to give.”

That’s all fine and good you say, but how do we deal with these situations? Here’s what your peers had to say:

Ask for something in return. We are entering a barter economy after all.

• If you’re (that’s YOU, PYB’ers) asking for favors at least offer something in return. Tony Adam says, “I’m okay with someone asking for a favor or two or even picking my brain for an hour, as long as there is value. For example, I’ve done this with a few people and they offered to write testimonials, where as others, didn’t offer the same, let alone, to this day continue to ask for favors constantly.”

• But this also means that all those creatives out there need to start ASKING for something back. Tyler Crowley wrote:

I have a simple 2-word solution — gorgeous dinners
“Will brainstorm for Kobe”
or… “I don’t drink coffee, but I do eat Kobe”
or… “you know I’ve noticed that I really give my best advice when I’m eating Kobe, and I wouldn’t want to give you anything less than my best”

Tongue in cheek or not. He has a point. And it’s only fair. It’s OK. What do you want in exchange for your time? A steak? Champagne? Tickets? Don’t be afraid to ask.

• Ryan Born asks for a stock option agreement after determining whether or not they have cash to spend on advice. “It’s worked out really well and I do the same in return when asking to pick brains.”

Giving it away without giving it away

• Jordan Mitchell suggests starting with a test. “Slap a consulting process and rates around it, have the first phase be called PYB, and have a mutual out after that first phase. Key part is to give them just enough to leave them hanging a little in the first meeting.”

• Josh Morgan gives the first one away but after that it’s time to talk. Read his post on the subject.

• Limit the amount of time you give for “follow-up:” Marie Williams shared a story very different from her appreciative friend who took her to dinner. She met someone at a conference, simply suggested he submit a byline article as a way to help his company and then she received emails asking for help crafting said article and sent list of questions for advice on positioning. ”…I spent about 2 minutes to reply with a few high-level thoughts and left it at that. If you’re not a cherished friend or an employer who pays me for my ideas, you get the 2-minute response from me. I find that to be a good rule of thumb for such situations.”

• Set boundaries. Jim Smith said he gives “30 mins, by phone, or a time and place convenient for me; a declared takeaway; and no commitment to anything beyond the meeting unless there is clear mutual gain.”

• Jennifer Goldin puts aside a percentage of her time for requests for advice. “I choose to devote about 15% of my work week to meetings and calls where I happily make my brain available for picking. I feel safe and good about “popping” away – because in my experience, whenever I’ve needed help with a creative challenge or advice, I’ve a long list of people that are happy to take my call or a meeting. I view this 15% as an investment in my bottom line and it has paid off in dividends with a steady flow of referrals for new clients and projects. It’s been a long-term strategy. “

• Professional storyteller, Shelly Kneupper Tucker, has a wait list for her donated time. “My solution (because I do like to donate to worthy causes) has been to allow myself one “donated gig” per month. I’m able to tell clients that if they would like to get on the list I’ll consider their requests for a future time.”

• Bob Schwartz has a different twist. I’ve known Bob for several years and he’s a generous guy. Well respected in the VC and entrepreneurial communities. He’s deluged with requests and has a creative way of feeling even better about the time he gives away. “There are those who you want to extend a hand to and I often send them an email afterwards that includes a few links and a “if you’d like and found value in our meeting, feel free to make a donation to one of these foundations in my name” (ones that are specific and i like to give to like University of Washington Crew Team). Sometime I let them know this before the meeting.. Good for them, good for charity, for for me and Karma.”

How to help while maximizing your time

• If you’re someone who is frequently consulted, turn to your blog as a way to benefit anyone struggling with the same thing. Janet Scarborough Civitelli did this and said visitors send her questions and she chooses which ones to answer.

• Anita Harris also mentioned something similar and cited how it would help her professional brand. “I’m planning to write some blogs on social media for beginners–to which I’ll be able to both refer such inquiries and publicize my skills–and will blog on other topics to both answer questions and publicize my business.

• Eric Hammond used to think it rude when people turned him down for a PYB session, until he became a much sought after resource himself. To help he started a public discussion group around his area of expertise -Running Ubuntu on Amazon EC2 – cloud computing). “The group is now over 1,300 members and gets hundreds of posts each month. When individuals send me a private email with questions, problems, or requests for advice, I often explain that I am unable to provide free consulting and ask them to post it to the public group. When they do this, it benefits everybody.” A side benefit – you look like a rockstar. Eric adds, “Having a body of work that proves your expertise in a domain and your ability to address issues and provide solutions seems to be a great marketing tactic for a technical consulting service as I get many unsolicited requests for paid assistance.”

The $$ dance

• Robert Richman makes the point that if you want the business create packages to further investigate. “If you’re truly interested in the business, the transition should be seamless… [Say] Actually I have a package I offer for that. It’s a 2-hour lunch in which I give you my best thinking, knowledge, resources, etc.” And then you charge whatever your time is worth.”

• Deana Goldasich offers, “I’d love to discuss your project. I now have a ‘pre-paid’ hours program if you’re interested.”

• Christine Koh explains her professional services in the context of what they are asking for. “Then [I] offer something like a 10% discount on my rate as a nod to our personal relationship. Another recent tweak is that if the person works at a non-profit, if there’ s no budget and I really like them and their mission, I tell them I can do a 15 minute phone call gratis.”

• Deb Rox suggests brainstorming a bit, and then say “”I’d love for you to think about signing on as a client, and then we could really move some of these ideas into actionable concepts and strategies for you.” One of my colleagues has a firm policy–”I’d love to do some consulting with you on that topic, and my first half hour is free so we can both see what might be possible. I’ll bring an NDA and contract with me in case we want to formalize a relationship.””

• Ron Northcutt has a “coupon” for a free 20 minute consultation on the back of his business card. “This is enough time to establish that:

A) I do know what I am talking about

B) I can offer great advice and service

C) Its worth paying for my time

If I can’t convince them to pay for my time in 20 minutes, then its not a good fit… and usually by the end of the conversation, I am creating an “Action plan” to get to the next step and get things rolling.”

• Nichole Bazemore makes one of the most important points – “Be OK with them walking away: to get very comfortable with losing prospective clients, because if they don’t see my information as valuable enough to pay for, I don’t really want them as clients anyway.”

Now how’s that for sharing? Look at all this awesome collective advice that was dispelled without any harming of brains. Thanks to everyone who contributed. Let’s keep up the conversation.

I’m not sure where to start with this topic since I feel like it might offend many people who know me who have asked the very thing. For close personal friends I can make an exception but there has to be a line drawn somewhere.

Several years ago I had upgraded myself to first class on a flight from LA to NYC, where I was living at the time. As the plane was boarding I was flipping through the current issue of Wired. Highlighted in the magazine was a book called “Ambitchous” (has since been changed.) It was, ultimately, about how the female psyche can hold one back in business. How we can under-value and under-appreciate what we contribute, and our desire to not push too hard or ask for too much because we don’t want to be “the Bitch.” The author interviewed hundreds of women and is a career psychologist of sorts as well as having a strong background in business.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and it was my travel partner handing me a note. I opened it and it said: “Turn to page 76. That’s my book.”

It was the author, Debra Condren (@debracondren) of Ambitchous, seated directly across the aisle from me. The author of the book I just dog-eared a magazine page for to remind myself to buy.

I immediately got up and went to her and engaged in conversation which continued some during the flight and finally in the baggage terminal at JFK. She gave me a galley copy of the book, which I found a huge honor. I devoured it. There were so many eye-opening examples that simulated behaviors and ways of thinking that I’d found myself trapped in. One chapter hit me the most. I like to call it Pay Me.

I would cite it but I loaned the book out ages ago to other powerful females I know but my takeaway was this: Time is valuable and creative thought is even more so. Don’t undervalue either. As women (and compassionate people everywhere) we like to help and can get trapped in giving our time and ideas away for free because we’re afraid to ask for compensation. Or, just don’t realize it’s within our right to do so.

When you are a creative individual who is a “popcorn machine,” as my mom says, that spits out ideas on a continual basis, doling out advice is no big thing. It’s easy to have coffee with someone whose company I enjoy, most who will ultimately take my ideas and somehow help it benefit their business. Whatevs.

I used to do this a lot more than I do now because here’s the thing I finally came to terms with that helped me start standing my ground: My popcorn machine has value.

Creative ideas and connections are the real currency in this digital economy. We are bomarded with fragmented channels to communicate with, audiences to communicate to and many masters to serve on the business side. Having someone who can view this entire eco-system, understand your market and then advise you on what is wisest for your company to build brand and business is an invaluable resource. But those advisors are typically under appreciated and under monetized.

I am asked on a weekly basis to meet with people for coffee, or lunch or cocktails. Requests range from if I know someone for a position to resources for an interest to the need for creative advice and consult to helping to promote an event. There are a lot of needs in LA (and beyond) and it shows this industry is raring to go and bursting with ambition. But, I can’t help everyone.

I do have my own work schedule and my “life balance” that I attempt and it leaves me little free time to “donate” to others. I appreciate that I am seen as a resource for the community but some of the requests have shown me a repeated trend – people need ideas. A lot of them.

Strategic and creative counsel is one of the most under-monetized aspects of being in the communications and marketing business. Would you ask a lawyer to coffee to “pick his brain?” Do you think a profession as ruthless as they are known, and whose services are enlisted regularly and paid well for, would dole out a hour advice to you for $3.50? Unless he’s your dear friend, what’s in it for him?

I see this as an increasing problem in LA, and I’m sure in every city across the country. It’s especially rampant with start-ups. Let’s call it the “Pick Your Brain (PYB) syndrome.”

You meet a nice smart person at an event and you have coffee and then they start to PYB. And take notes, because what you say makes sense. You are pumping out advice and ideas. And it ain’t no thing to you because you’re a popcorn machine, right? Pop, pop, pop. And they soak it up and then, off they go, and you’re left holding an empty drink.

I got into a recent twitter back and forth with someone about the value of releasing ideas into the world. Someone cited @jason to me, that you can give ideas but it doesn’t matter if they can’t execute (I’m paraphrasing,) but I wholly disagree. When you present an idea to someone and they recognize it as good, they will take it with them and they will eventually make money off of that idea. But you will not.

So this is what I started doing, especially for people that I do not know well: I tell them I am happy to meet, I am flattered they asked and that because my time is valuable I don’t do these PYB sessions for free. Most the time I’ve said this, they’ve understood and honored it. The ones that got a little ruffled, are the ones who will suck you dry and likely leave you paying for your own coffee. And theirs.

Run. Fast.

How often are you asked to have your brain picked? Got any words of advice or examples to share?

This article also appeared on BlogHer.